The Enigma That Is The Adolescent Brain


My mother once declared, in a matter-of-fact voice, that there were days during my pre-teen and teenage years when she was certain that portions of my brain had drained out of my ears and onto my pillow during the night while I slept.  Many parents express similar feelings during the adolescent years of their children.  Some parents wonder if their children are the only ones who have brainless moments and begin to question whether they have done something wrong in their parenting.  

During a child's adolescent years, the brain is changing and becoming that of an adult's brain.  In fact, in most respects, the teenage brain is fully developed.  However, two primary factors create the whirlwind of emotions and impulsiveness that characterize the teenage years: (1) the pre-frontal cortex & (2) lack of experience. 

The pre-frontal cortex is the last part of the brain to develop and doesn't fully develop until around 23 years old.  This portion of the brain is responsible for evaluating whether an impulse is a good idea or not.  This in turn leads to those moments when parents ask, "what were you thinking?"

Secondly, adolescents lack the experiences adults do.  Teenagers are beginning to have adult thoughts and adult emotions, but they often don't know what to do with either of these because they lack the experience necessary to properly evaluate these new feelings and thought processes.

All this to say, the next time your adolescent does something that doesn't make sense or acts out in a way that causes you to question the presence of a brain in their head, take a deep breath and consider if this is a moment in which you might be able to assist them by walking them through the decision making process.  In other words, instead of simply expecting them to act like an adult, take a few moments to teach and show them what an adult looks like.

Mark Oestreicher has written a wonderful, and concise, book on this subject entitled A Parent's Guide to Understanding Teenage Brains: Why They Act the Way They Do.  I highly recommend it if you desire to explore this subject further.

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