Fighting the War Against Anxiety and Depression
A battle is raging in the war for the hearts,
minds, and souls of our children. This
battle is not one against drugs, sex, alcohol, or any of the other commonly
identified enemies of our children. This
battle is against an opponent who rises from within our kids. This battle is the one being fought against
anxiety and depression.
Experts
agree that both anxiety and depression are on the rise in adolescents. Some parents may not witness their children
experience either of these ailments, but chances are they will know someone
whose children are caught in their grasp.
For this reason, every parent should have at least a basic understanding
of how to aid someone trapped in the pit that is anxiety and/or depression.
The
prophet Elijah provides a framework by which Christians can work through their
anxiety and/or depression (1 Kings 19:1-18).
Prior to this passage, Elijah had just defeated the prophets of Baal and
witnessed God answer and defend him in a mighty way. Rather than experiencing feelings of victory
and elation, Elijah was overcome by dread that Jezebel would have him
killed. Elijah’s feelings of helplessness
and impending doom convey to us that feelings of anxiety and depression can arise at
any time, often at the most inconvenient or illogical times.
It
is not uncommon for a person suffering from anxiety or depression to berate
himself saying that for one reason or another he “shouldn’t feel this
way.” This is a damaging and, ultimately,
fruitless process that only heaps guilt upon the suffering individual. Instead, the person experiencing anxiety or
depression should admit his feelings so that they can be worked through.[1]
A
common source of anxiety experienced by many young people today is the belief
that they must please everyone.
Unfortunately, this belief is unachievable which often results in a
child’s anxiety spiraling out of control.
Everyone must learn to accept the truth that they cannot please everyone
and an attempt to do so is the very essence of futility.[2] Parents can help their children accept this
uncomfortable truth by communicating unconditional love, helping to grow their
child’s confidence in himself, and reminding him of all those who have accepted
him for who he is.
Another
source of stress and anxiety for young people today is the belief that they
“have to.” It is common to hear a
student say that he “has to” do his homework, go to practice, and engage
in social media with friends. This
belief that one “has to” can leave a child feeling as though he has no
control over his life. The reality is
that there is very little in life that we as humans absolutely have to do.[3] Certainly, choosing not to go to practice or
do one’s homework will result in certain consequences, but these are not tasks
that absolutely have to be
completed. Every action in life has a
consequence, some good and others bad.
The realization that he can choose what consequences he experiences in
life can have a freeing effect on a child.
Parents should reinforce a child’s understanding that he has the power
to choose but should also help him evaluate the consequences associated with
his choice.
Acceptance
of these life truths can help many young people avoid or overcome their
feelings of anxiety or depression. Some,
however, may need more assistance. 1
Kings 19:1-18 offers some tips for how one can begin to work through his
anxiety or depression. These tips
include:
1) Get proper rest (19:5-6)
2) Admit your feelings (19:4,14)
3) Have a balanced diet and consider taking a multi-vitamin (19:6-7)
4) Consider changing your current environment, even if it is a brief change (19:8-9)
5) Talk with someone who can help you evaluate your self-talk (19:14-17)
Some students may find
the use of a counselor, therapist, or psychologist helpful in addressing their
anxiety and/or depression. These
professionals can be helpful, but parents should take time to identify a mental
health professional who can work well with their child. There are two basic ways the brain is viewed
in modern psychology. One believes the
brain to be strong and capable of overcoming challenges. The other proposes that the brain is weak and
must be treated carefully, lest it break.
The viewpoint your mental-health professional adheres to will affect the
treatment your child receives.
As Christians, there
is one last lesson to learn from 1 Kings 19 and it is perhaps the most
important. Look for God in the midst of
the chaos. Elijah heard the voice of
God, not in the fire or great wind, but in a quiet whisper. Anxiety and depression can feel like a
hurricane raging out of control. When
this occurs, remember that God has promised that He will be with us and never forsake
us. God is always working and is always
looking after those who love Him but in the midst of the chaos we must choose
to look for Him. When we do look for Him
we will discover that He is right there in the midst of the hurricane fighting
for us.
[1]
Chris Thurman, The Truths We Must
Believe: Twelve Timeless Principles for Confident Living, (Thomas Nelson:
Nashville, 1991), 34-43.
[2]
Ibid, 45-52.
[3]
Ibid, 52-64.
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