Because He

Tonight sleep eludes me.  I am tired, yet I cannot find the peaceful bliss of rest.  Mentally I calculate that if I go to sleep now I won't be too tired tomorrow, yet I am unable to fully relax.  I seem incapable of turning off my brain, despite my drowsiness.  A thousand questions loom on the edges of my consciousness; all beginning with the words, "What if..."

"What if..."  Those two little words hold so much pent up emotion and anxiety.  They convey the very essence of uncertainty and concern.  Together, those words can cast doubt on every area of life and usher in sleepless nights and cold sweats.  Most of the time I ignore these two words shrugging them off while stating that, "It will all work out.  One step at a time."  Certainly, this is true.  Yet, there are times when the number of "What if's" become overwhelming.  It is during these times when sleeplessness emerges and restlessness sets in.  A few times in my life I have had "What if" moments that drove me to panic.  Thankfully, tonight is not one of those nights.  Instead, tonight's circling "What if's" converge on what I could be doing.

Few things in life are as troublesome as the feeling of helplessness.  Tonight my heart hurts for the students whose school years have come to a screeching halt, for the single parents who just lost their jobs and now wonder if they will be able to make ends meet, for the families who found out their loved one is sick and they are scared.  Tonight there are many who, like me, find that sleep eludes them; and it is for them that I am unable to fall into the blissful arms of slumber.

From the World Wars, to the Black Plague, to the Russian Missile Crisis, every generation has faced times of uncertainty.  Yet, it never seems to get any easier.  Just as many, myself included, are facing "What if" moments, I am sure previous generations had these same thoughts.  History books seem to always leave that part out.  History makes things appear easy because we know how the story ends.  It's much harder to live in history as it is being written.

Moments like these, times when the "What ifs" are circling and sleep is elusive, are when I am most thankful for another phrase, "Because He..."  This phrase to end the swirling "What ifs" and helps to calm the growing storm of anxiety.

Because He died, I can call the most powerful being in the universe "Father" and know that He hears my cries of distress.

Because He Lives, I am assured of life in heaven.

Because He cares, I know that He hurts when I hurt and rejoices when I rejoice.

Because He is all powerful, I know He is working.  

Because He is everywhere, I know that even the darkest moments in life cannot separate me from Him.

Because He is able, I need only to trust Him.

Because of Christ, I do not have to drown in my own "What ifs."

This phrase is not comforting because it alleviates the whirling storm of anxiety, fear, and questions.  It is reassuring because in the midst of it all, I do not face these challenges alone.  Instead, I face them side-by-side with the most powerful being in the universe who is capable of action and who loves me enough to act even in life's most challenging moments.

So here I sit in my dinning room, listening to calming music contemplating how thankful I am for the phrase, "Because He..." while uttering a silent prayer that those who are without this assurance will come to find it.  If this describes you.  If you are drowning in your own "What ifs," you don't have to face the darkness alone.  There is One who would face the storm with you and walk with you through it side-by-side, if you will allow Him.  If you want to talk more about Him, please feel free to email me.

Because He IS, we do not face our "What ifs" alone.