Embrace Your Inner Toddler

 Perhaps there are no two letters that change the relationship between parent and child more than those that form the word, NO.  Up until a toddler learns this word, he or she appears to be such an angel.  Then, one day, that dreaded word touches his lips and the battle of wills between parent and child begins.  Yet, somewhere during our transition from childhood to adulthood we lose our ability to say, "NO."  We would all do well to embrace our inner toddler and utilize this word more.  

This year has been a challenge for many, myself included.  Faced with the challenge of working from home while also attempting to maintain some semblance of a "normal" home life, I found that often the lines between family, work, and self-care were regularly blurred.  My responsibilities to my job, to my wife, to my son, and to myself all made demands upon my time and I felt myself being pulled in all directions.  My solution was simple: multi-task and do it all.  With my confident "can-do" attitude, I attempted to juggle all of my responsibilities at one time and failed miserably.  Sure there were some days that I succeeded in this grand balancing act, but most days I felt that I had failed to spend enough time working, failed to spend enough time with my son, failed to fully engage with my wife, and failed to address my own needs as well.  By trying to do it all, I had managed to not fully do anything.

Perhaps you can relate to my story.  Many of us struggle to juggle all of our responsibilities and the more we try and multi-task, the more we feel like we are flailing in failure.  As a result, many of us spend exorbitant amounts of time focusing on what we can't do rather than what we can.  We should all get back in touch with our inner toddler and regain our ability to say, "NO."  

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."  For every responsibility in our lives, there is a time to say "yes" and there is a time to say, "no."  As I struggled to balance all of my responsibilities this year, one of the most helpful things I did was to schedule time with my son.  I know it sounds weird to "pencil in" time with my son, but by doing so I was able to make that time the best it could be.  We called our special time "Kid's Corner" and I spent all week thinking about what we would do.  During my time with my son, I set aside my other responsibilities to fully engage with him.  By saying, "no" to everything else I was able to fully say, "yes" to him.  

I decided to use this principle of saying, “no” so I could say, “yes” with my other responsibilities and I found it to be quite helpful.  I set aside time to work, set aside time for my son, set aside time for my wife, and set aside time for myself.  I found that by focusing on one thing at a time I not only got more accomplished, but I was able to more fully engage. 

Rather than trying to do everything at one time and accomplishing nothing, give yourself permission to say, "no" so that you can fully say, "yes."  As Ecclesiastes states,  there is a time to say, "no" to work so that you can say, "yes" to family.  There is a time to say, "no" to family so that you can say, "yes" to work.  There is even a time to say, "no" to other responsibilities so that you can say, "yes" to yourself.  Instead of going through life focusing on what you can't do and feeling guilty because of it, focus on what you can do and fully engage in it.  Embrace your inner toddler and learn to say, "no" so that you can fully say, YES!"