Remodeling: The Greatest Challenge in Parenting

 It's a story that has been told and retold a thousand times.  A man reads an ad on Craig's List about a classic car for sale.  He rushes over, full of excitement mixed with anxiety, to inspect the car in question.  The man arrives and is led to a shed where the outline of a car can be made out under a large brown tarp.  His mouth is dry with anticipation as the dusty tarp is pulled back, revealing the shell of what used to be a beautiful piece of engineering.  As the man looks over the car, the rust, dents, and torn upholstery catch his eye.  Lifting the hood, it is clear that the car hasn't been started in years, suggesting that many parts will need to be replaced.  After finishing his inspection, the man hands the owner a wad of cash and begins making preparations to have his purchase hauled to his garage. 

Over the subsequent months and years, the man spends countless hours working on the car.  Finally the day arrives when the restoration job is complete and the man stands back to examine his work.  The car gleams with its fresh paint job, the new hubcaps and tires seem to call to the open road, and the upgraded upholstery beckons.  As the engine roars to life, the man is filled with the sudden urge to burn rubber on blacktop.  Running his hands over the dash, he remembers the time, sweat, money, and blood he has invested in brining this car back to life.  There were moments when he wondered if it was worth it all, but as he sits listening to the engine purr, he can confidently say it was worth every bit of it.

God is in the business of restoration.  Ephesians 2:10 tells us that God has begun a masterpiece in every Christian.  The challenge is that, as humans, we still fall prey to sin (Romans 3:23) which is why God's restoration of each of us is a lifetime project.  

Perhaps the greatest challenge of parenting is that we have been called to help shape and mold our children even as God continues to remodel us.  Just as our children are learning the difference between right and wrong, so we as parents are still learning what it means to live our lives for Christ.  It is this challenge that is one of the greatest sources of stress within the life of a parent.  As a parent who is continually being remodeled, I would like to offer two points of encouragement to my fellow parents.

The first point of encouragement is to recognize that you will fail.  While that may not seem like encouragement at the outset, it is.  To not recognize that you will fail is to live in a dream-world full of stress and anxiety always trying to be perfect when perfection is an impossibility.  Admitting you will fail allows you to recognize your imperfection so that you can move forward.  As a parent who is continually remodeled, it is important that you give yourself a break and not go to pieces every time you make a mistake.  This is not a license to parent poorly, but rather an intentional decision to not live life wound too tightly.  Insisting on perfection when it is not possible only serves to cause you pain and your family pain.  Choose to give yourself a break and recognize that you will fail.

Part of recognizing that you will fail is refusing to compare yourself to other parents.  Every day parents fall prey to wondering why their family isn't as "perfect" as everyone else's. One of the most damaging practices you can engage in as a parent is comparing yourself to others.  This practice serves only to either inflate your ego or demoralize you.  

Once you have admitted to yourself that you will not be perfect, you can move onto the second point of encouragement, look to God.  Only God can bring perfection out of imperfection.  Where we fail in our parenting, God is able to work all things together for His good (Romans 8:28).  To rely on God in your parenting requires that you invest in your relationship with Him (Isaiah 40:31), bathe your life in prayer (James 5:16), make decisions that are filtered through a lens of the Bible (Proverbs 3:5-6; Romans 8:28), and seek accountability and encouragement from trusted sources (Titus 2:1-10).  As you rely upon God in your parenting, you are portraying to your children what it means to lean upon God in their lives, a lesson they will need for the rest of their time on this earth.

Matthew 6:33 says that if we seek God first, He will take care of the rest.  This promise is true for every area of our lives, including our parenting.  May the Lord bless you as you seek to allow Him to continue to remodel you while helping to mold your children in Him.


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